Something's gotta give.

I am not going to mention who I am writing about here, but I'm hoping they will read it and know it is about them. I'm writing this because I love you, and can't imagine my life without you. I'm writing this because this is the best way to let out all the feelings I've been having the last couple months without causing an uproar. I'm writing this because I need to vent, again not because I'm turning into some depressed creepie.

Two years ago, I met a few people that I never knew would have such a huge impact on my life. People who brought others into my life that I now can't imagine life without. These people have not only become some of the greatest friends I've ever had, but also like a second family.

I could go to them with any of life's problems and they would give me advice. I could trust them with anything. We would have fun doing anything, not just doing the things that brought us together in the first place. But apparently that was then and this is now. In the past year, the dynamic of this friendship has changed drastically, even though we all don't want to admit it, it has. We all know it. The silent promises we made to each other to make these friendships last long past "this" (you know what I'm talking about) now only seems like a far off memory. Rules are meant to be broken, not promises. Right? Strong, honest friendships are supposed to stand up against anything, correct?

What do you do when people you thought would never let you down, do? If you were really as close as they perceive you to be, they would let nothing get in the way of the friendship. But when they do let things get in the way, when they are more interested in everyone else and you are pushed to the sidelines, you have to wonder. Did they ever really care? They said you weren't just friends, you were family. You would be forever. Were those lies?

We used to get so excited over seeing each other for a few hours every 2, 3 weeks, maybe once a month. Now when we get together, there's silent and remember when moments. We're always reminiscing. I have a thought on why; we're trying to keep a hold of what "we" used to be. What I think is that we still could be the same way, and never would have changed if it had stayed the "original" (for lack of a better term) group. We've welcomed others in (some good, some not so much) because that's what we always said we'd do, never leave someone out. But unfortunately, trying to do the right thing has backfired dangerously on us. "Back then", I never had to question anything. I always just knew. Now I do question. All the time. "What am I really doing this all for"? People are failing to realize that the issues we've been having only started when others were brought in. Until a year ago, we were the strongest, tightest knit group. Nothing could break us apart. Then one new person came, then another, then another, and by that last one, the old group didn't matter anymore. The "family" began to break apart and the few who cared weren't paid attention to. And now that many of us are steps away from finishing the breaking process. there's one question on my mind. If all this ended, if everyone threw in the towel and just quit; who would actually care? Who would actually feel like they lost something?